The Unique Struggles Of Siblings Of Children With Disabilities

Last Week My Niece, a typical Sibling of a Brother with Autism Spectrum Disorder, Made a Suicide Attempt!

My niece's suicide attempt hit me like a ton of bricks. Mainly because this is an issue I am very familiar with. Thirty-eight years ago, to graduate from my Master's Degree program at UCLA, I had to write a Master's Thesis with a partner. My partner wanted to write a thesis about loss, and I wanted to write something about children. Our compromise was to write the thesis on Siblings who grew up with a developmentally disabled child in their family and the effect it had on the typical sibling. Unfortunately, the two of us knew nothing about the subject before our study.

The Past Thirty-Eight Years

During these past years, I have had many clients who were typical siblings of developmentally disabled children. I have heard mixed feelings from most typical siblings. Many have felt protective of their sibling but also experienced anger that their parents did not give them enough attention. On the other hand, some had felt parentified as they had to take care of their siblings when their parents burned out.

I Can't Believe This Happened to My Niece, and I did not Notice!

I have three chapters to go on for my Doctoral Dissertation. I thought I would do the same topic because I am familiar with it. Halfway through the paper, trying to find literature on interventions and support for siblings, I got a call from my sister, who told me my niece had made a suicide attempt. She explained that my niece had taken pills with alcohol. It was a second suicide attempt!

My niece's pain broke my heart. It was horrible I had no clue. The feeling of helplessness overwhelmed me. Despite years of training, I had not been able to spare her the struggles she was experiencing.

The Pressure My Niecehas without any. Support

My niece is in a terrible situation. Her father has severe back problems, and her mother had breast cancer and is still dealing with aftercare. My nephew functions moderately on the spectrum, but my niece is in a position where she has become a caregiver for her whole family.

After the suicide attempt, she was hospitalized and will see a therapist. It shows me how we must be aware of siblings before it gets to a crisis. It also taught me that it could be right under my nose, and I could not see it. I am grateful that she did not know herself well and is getting the help she needs.